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Summer!


“Anywhere you like, anywhere you like,” said the goose. “Go down through the orchard, root up the sod! Go down through the garden, dig up the radishes! Root up everything! Eat grass! Look for corn! Look for oats! Run all over! Skip and dance, jump and prance! Go down through the orchard and stroll in the woods! The world is a wonderful place when you are young.” (Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White)

Friday: 73°/Saturday: 85°/Sunday: 88°/Monday: 88°/Tuesday 81°…
(Photos by Andrew Elliott, see his blog here)

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What it’s really like to run the Boston Marathon

To celebrate the 113th anniversary of the Boston marathon here’s a video my friend Anjum and I took when we ran in 2007. Waking up at four thirty am and driving over an hour through pouring rain and sleet was very foreboding. But once the race started, it was so fun we forgot it was 26.2 miles long. The highlight? Even though we ran as “bandits” we still got cool mylar blankets at the end!




If you want to keep up with today’s race here’s a link to people tweeting the marathon now: http://www.boston.com/sports/marathon/twitter/

And of course, if you don’t know it, read about the biggest cheater Rosie Ruiz. She got on the subway in 1980 and ended up winning the marathon! Of course they realized later, when she wasn’t out of breath and had a T card in her hand, that she’d cheated:
http://platial.com/post/41364

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Rain

It is 48°F (9°C) and rainy in NY.



Wet toes inside wet socks inside shoes that were supposed to be waterproof. The whole situation was gruesome, thought John Greeland as he stooped under the drooping awning his wife had made him install over the front steps. Now she wanted it fixed. His life had recently taken on an inescapable quality. At first, alone in the storm, he had felt refreshed. It was an escape from the feverish kitchen his wife and two daughters berated him in. They had started at him because of a newspaper article.

“Friday March 17th, Guadalajara, Mexico. Hundreds of women in a Mexican factory filed charges against their supervisors for sexual assault,” read his eldest daughter Maya, her voice powerful from years of education and privilege.

“You see that,” his wife said, “you see that!” It was as if she had predicted this. As if they lived next to this factory and she’d known about the misconduct of the supervisors for years. Waverly, Massachusetts does not border Guadalajara, he wanted to say.

“Men are such jerks,” his youngest daughter Clara agreed, her small head bobble-nodding in agreement.

“I suppose so,” he said looking at the window glass turned amorphous by the torrential rain streaming across it.

“Did you fix the awning?” his wife said.

“Yeah dad, you need to do that, me and Clara got soaked yesterday.”

“I thought I would wait for the rain to stop, there’s about a hundred pounds of water hanging in it.”

“All the more reason to do it,” his wife loved logic. “If you wait the water won’t go away, right? So do it now. Are you worried about getting wet? Your own daughters came in drenched yesterday when it tipped. That’s gonna happen to some poor person again at this rate.”

John did not point out that it would inevitably happen to him if he went out and messed with it. The three women had already distracted themselves and the conversation was over.


Diana’s mother’s car pulled up in the driveway. His mother-in-law’s boyfriend got out. Robert. Six years after his mother-in-law’s death Robert still came by. His visits always left John exhausted and refreshed. Like the long runs he’d taken before his daughters were born. Arguing with Robert left John feeling entirely relaxed and calm and often he fell asleep sitting in the living room after Robert left.

“Hi John,” Robert yelled, “What are you doing out here?”

“My wives told me to fix the awning,” John referred to his daughters as wives when speaking to Robert. His wives had no idea that he did this.

“Ah the days of fulfillment, of doing a woman’s bidding,” Robert said standing next to him, looking at the pile of torn down awning and then to John’s soaked composure.

“I’d swap with you in a day,” John said to start an argument.

“You don’t—” Robert started angrily, then Diana stuck her head out of the front door.

“Robert! Get in here! Why are you standing in the rain!” And then added, “John I didn’t realize you were going to take down the whole damn thing.”

“OK see you inside,” Robert said to John and left him standing in the yard.

John came inside when it got dark and his wives couldn’t look out into the yard and see the mess he’d left. Robert was with his family in the living room enjoying cookies made by his daughters and being served a second round of tea when he passed through to change into dry clothes.

“Don’t shower now Dad or you won’t get to talk to Robert, he has to leave in thirty minutes,” Clara said.

Diana followed John upstairs. She stood in the doorway and watched him pulling off his clothes, awkwardly trying not to to sit on anything while he removed his socks first, then his heavy jeans. She didn’t say anything. The silence was unusual, but so nice John didn’t say anything. He hoped she was thinking about his body. Maybe she was. He didn’t find a towel right away and instead strode around in front of her finding dry clothes and hanging up his wet ones in the bathtub more meticulously than he would if she weren’t looking. He imagined himself to be the best horse at show, his muscles flexing softly as he paraded back and forth.

“John,” Diana said. Her voice was shallow, breathy, he was surprised that his own fantasy might actually be real. He looked up at her. Her flushed cheeks, her sweater undone one button too low. “We aren’t connecting,” she said.

“Well close the door, Robert will keep the girls entertained.”

“What? I don’t need to fight about this now and the girls already know.”

“Know what? That we have sex? Yes, I suppose they do.”

“Sex. Sex! Is that all you think about?”

“No. I thought you were asking…”

“Robert and I are sleeping together.”

John didn’t say anything. He was surprised. Not that his wife was having an affair. Not that his daughters knew. Not that Diana had unbuttoned her blouse too low for Robert. He was surprised that he felt that same calm. “It’s okay,” he said, “I’ll just take a nap and you all can sort it out downstairs.”

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Feminism among other things


Wednesday afternoon a couple hundred students and professors mill around Columbia. The weather is good so those that aren’t heading to class hang out on the steps. In a post-lecture stupor the spring air has made me hyperobservant. Perhaps this is the reason I am the only person staring at a thirty-something well dressed man standing against a well pruned hedge. Not leaning on it, pressed up against it from his belly button to his ankles. Tons of people are walking by and a couple jostle me which probably makes it more obvious that I’m staring at him but he’s focused on something else. Then he pulls away. His penis is exposed. He was peeing! And that’s it. He zips up his pants and walks away from the bush. (Note, stop dragging fingers along campus shrubbery.) More than disgust and wonderment I felt a profound sense of unfairness. This is what feminism should be about, I thought. Why can’t I pee in a bush surrounded by hundreds of people and get away with it? Who cares that I’ll make 72 cents to the dollar if I have to go pee badly.

So when I got home I did what I always do when I’m feeling social unrest. I googled the issue. “Feminism peeing.” Believe or not public toilets EXIST because of feminism and the fact that women can’t just pee anywhere.

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Observation: Pandas

Do you ever notice that Pandas look like men in Panda suits?


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MOVIE TAGLINES



Last night I saw two previews on TV. One for Watchman, “They watch over us…but who watches them?” and one for TWILIGHT, “When you can live forever what do you live for?” These inspiring taglines led me to write a prediction list of upcoming films. Feel free to add more predictions in the comments.

“Movies were his inspiration. Women were his passion. Softcore pornography was his result.”
THE DIRECTOR

“In space, no one can pull your finger”
JUVENILE LONELINESS

“Just when you thought you were safe, something causes you to think you are no longer in danger.”
REDUNDANCY

“While the world is at war, one man fights his own battle against anonymity.”
JOHN SMITH

“From the director of ‘Save the Last Dance 2’ and ‘A Dance to Remember’ comes a harrowing tale of war survival.”
P.O.W. CAMP BOOGIE

“Some women follow the straight and narrow. Others deodorize their armpit hair with witch-hazel extract.”
THE NON-CONFORMIST

“There was no one who could stop him because everyone else was dead.”
POINTLESS

“They make coffee for us, but who makes coffee for them? “
THE BARISTAS

“The curious case of a girl who was a really ugly boring single librarian who took off her frumpy sweater to reveal a tiny red bikini, then decided to wear her hair down, and got contacts and became a really hot spy with four boyfriends.”
UGLY CHICK

“In a secret world of cover-ups, sometimes you need to go undercover to uncover a world of secrets.”
UNDERCOVER

“After aliens conduct an experiment on the brains of the human race there’s only one very tiny man left who knows what’s going on and he lives in a shoe.”
I AM FAIRYTALE

Foreign Films:

“Complicated philosophical ideas only end in tears”
L’OISEAU GRIS

“It began the day she found out that her mother’s sister was her daughter and her brother’s child was her mom. “
LA FAMIGLIA

“I might love you”
TE VOY A JODER

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RIP John Updike


For some reason Updike gets a bad rap. My feminist English professor lumps him in with Philip Roth (what?!) and then dismisses his work as “male perspective,” and my peers refuse to read the Rabbit novels thinking that they’re about middle-aged sex. But for me Updike’s talent and value often lies less in his plots and themes and more in the individual sentences, words, and metaphors he conjures over and over to describe everyday events (see “Dentistry and Doubt”). His last collection of poems (“Endpoint”) continues to showcase his funny and interesting genius:

“…Meanwhile our President Obama waits downstairs to be unwrapped and I, a child on Christmas day…”

As does his book Couples,

“Nature dangles sex to keep us walking toward the cliff.”

And for those of you who still haven’t read any of his novels let me point you again to the Rabbit series (get them here) and once and for all dispel the middle-aged rumor: Rabbit is 26 at the start of the first book! If you’re still too scared to take on a longer novel try one of his short story collections (get them here) which are entertaining quick reads.

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Andrew Elliott Part 2

The man who brought you Index of the Ordinary (http://indexoftheordinary.com/) launches another website with an extensive portfolio of his work (http://www.andrew-elliott.com/). See more polished funny and interesting images like these:


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Take note: Index of the Ordinary

Today is finally the launch of the much anticipated Index of the Ordinary (http://indexoftheordinary.com). Photographer Andrew Elliott gives his audience alphabitzed poetry. Search “cat” or “cow” or “crossing” and find something lyrical. The quiet grace of the photographs creates the perfect contrast between calm and common, and startling and beautiful. Below are photographs from the site and a short interview with Andrew.







Cameron: What was your first job taking photos?
Andrew: My first job was photographing couples imitating the “Jack I”m flying” scene from the Titanic. It was against an ocean backdrop in a huge titanic themed restaurant with 2 levels and an actual life raft in it. I was 21.

Cameron: Whose work inspires you? (Authors/Artists etc.)
Andrew: Jonathan Lethem (www.jonathanlethem.com) , Tibor Kalman (on wikipedia), Gerhard Richter (gerhard-richter.com), Wolfgang Tillmans (tillmans.co.uk), Bruce Davidson (davidson photography), Shomei Tomatsu (on wikipedia), Martin Parr (martinparr.com), Jonas Bendiksen (jonasbendiksen.com), Robin Schwartz (robinschwartz.net), Josef Koudelka (at magnum), Kurt Vonnegut (vonnegut.com), Eikoh Hosoe (on wikipedia), Sonic Youth (sonicyouth.com), Taryn Simon (tarynsimon.com)…

Cameron: Any favorite searches we should do when we get to the index?
Andrew: Photography, suburbs, donkey.

Thanks Andrew and best of luck on your new website!

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